Amazing how life goes up and down so dramatically. I wonder if it's just me, or does everyones' lives have these drastic highs and lows. I must have been a massive mountain range in a former life - full of sky-high peaks and flooded, dark valleys. I wonder what life would be like to be just a flat meadow...now highs or lows, just a straight existance. Would it be boring? How could something be boring if you have nothing more exciting to compare it to? I am not surte that is such a bad thing. The highs sure are fun...full of adrenaline and good feelings and buzzes. The lows really stink. I mean REALL stink...makes it hard to even recall what the highs felt like.

So where am I now? I guess I am somewhere on the side of the mountain. I have pulled myself out of the valley temporarily, but am not climbing to the top yet because I don't trust my ropes and pickaxe. I guess you could say I am hanging on the side of a cliff...I could easily drop to the bottom again, or with strength I could pull myself up and keep climbing. Ah, we shall see!

On that note,I head to West Virginia...6 hours with my dog in a non air-conditioned truck to spent 3 days in the mid-90 degree weather at a horse show. Yes, I do think I am certifiably crazy!!!

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It's a fine, thin line I walk. Tiptoe...rolling my feet to make sure there are no unnecessary jolts or bumps. It seems lately I even breathe wrong. I have the best of intentions, but always manage to bungle it up so that people are angry with me. Sometimes I feel like it is hopeless, fruitless, useless. My solution...escape, and make it QUICK!

 How does one walk the line and never fall to one side or the other? It's a talent I don't think I possess. On one side you are a groveling, sniveling noodle with no pride or shame. On the other side you are a hard-nosed b*tch with no feelings, cold as ice. This line is tough to walk, and it seems to get thinner the longer I walk it.

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Battle of the Businesses

LIMA FIREFIGHTERS ARE CHAMPIONS!

The key to our success - careful planning and strategizing!

Studying the plan!

Waiting for our turn to crush another team in Volleyball

Bigfoot Relay

The canoe race - setting a new record time!

Running back around the lake...agony after canoeing all-out!

Ending the race in the circle - we won with a new record time (that's me on my knees, dying LOL!)

Fill the Bucket Relay

Having some fun between events!

Planning our Earthball Relay strategy

Throwing the ball over the goalpost to start...

Starting my leg of the relay (that ball is HEAVY!)

Keeping control...

Running back to my position

Throwing the earthball back over the goalpost to finish the rae...we WON of course!

We went into the last event - Obstacle Course - so far ahead of the 2nd place team that we didn't even need to complete the event. We went at it full throttle anyways!

My standard look throughout the week - the victory loodle!

Our awesome team:

Front row: Brian, Chris, Lee, Kevin, Eddie, Rich

Back row: Coach Bunny, Julie, Barb, Jodi, Amy, me, Sonya, Deana, and 'CEO' Dan

Stabilize!!!

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I call it Dad's day...I never call my dad 'Father' - that's what I'd call a priest or someone I am formal with. No formalities allowed with Dad!!!! IN honor of dad's Day, here's a list of why MY dad is cooler than yours

• My dad has a really zany sense of humor. He laughs a lot, and always has something funny (or punny) to say!
• My dad knows ALL sorts of useful(less) facts and info that will astound you. Just mention any topic, and I bet he will know some cool fact about it.
• My dad knos LOTS of words. Big words, small words, some of the most obscure words that even Noah Webster has to look up. He knows what they mean, how to correctly use them in a sentence, and even knows how to pronounce them! What's especially cool is that when he comes across a nifty new word, he files it away for future use...brings out that word at just the right time (usually when i am nowhere near a dictionary!).
• My dad can fix ANYTHING, and I do mean ANYTHING. Metal, plastic, paper, wood, mental - he can fix it! Plus, he usually has it done in record time. If he can't fix it, he knows just how to make a replacement that works better and has nicer features.
• My dad can make ANYTHING. Need a tack box that fits your saddle just so? How about a rack that holds upside-down Culligan water jugs for drumming? Or a truck console that holds a Taco Bell Large cup and a Diet Pepsi can perfectly? How about a contraption to hold a 50-gallon drum of water sideways on a truck bed? Can't forget about an entire interior furnishing of a bare aluminum horse trailer. Or 50 stall plaques, cut and packaged...tomorrow?
• My dad loves my mom, after 50+ years, and they helped teach me what real love is. Now that's cool!

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Well, we did it! The Lima Firefighters' Team won the Battle of the Businesses for 2006. It's a great feeling to have accomplished this as a part of a really tight team that worked well together. It was especially ncie competing WITH Kevin and not against him! Amazing what the two of us can accomplish when we work together towards one single goal. This is a lesson I will have to keep in mind for the future.

I am glad I redeemed myself by helping win the Euchre tournament. I am glad I didn't bring us down in bowling by doing somewhat OK. I did know a few questions on the trivia that no one else knew! And I made it through all the events today (Earthball Relay, Slingshot, and obstacle course) without making a bad mistake.

 Now, after 2 weeks of preparing and doing the battle events, suddenly I wake up and it's back to reality. Back to 5am wake-ups for the horse shows, back to charting halftime shows. I glanced at the calendar...holy cow...3 weeks until band camp! Small waves of panic start to set in.

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Well, I survived the 2 mile race (with a slower time than last year, yet I ran more...go figrue). We smoked the competition in the canoe race with a new record time of 11 minutes, 8 seconds!

As you can see, the run at the end of the canoe race was pure torture for me, but i did it...arrived back in the circle right when the canoe did so we timed it perfectly...made all that agony worthwhile! 

Not so great on the fill the bucket relay...we needed to run a bit faster and hold more water!

After day three, we are in the lead...but then we stood in this same spot last year and lost it at the end, so it's time to keep stepping up!

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Potential - such a big word for an entire future. I am faced with the thought that I now possess a horse (Corky) wit so much putential, she is almost too good for me. he really deserves to belong to someone with a lot more money and time available to devote to taking her to the top. She is the first horse I have owned that has the capability or the potential of getting to the top. How scary is that? Sadly, I am limited by many things, not the least of which is finances. I am also limited to time, and to what my heart says. Is it really right for me to be willing to push her hard this summer in the hopes of realizing my own ambition? Is it in her best interest? I think as long as I keep her health and mind as my top priorities, I can't go wrong, right? Too bad the bank account also screams a resounding 'NO!' to the question.

 I guess I will ride this week and make a decision as to what my plan will be for Corky this summer. Do we aim for the starts and try to realize the potential? Do we assume that it is unattainable and don't even try? Do we stay fiscally responsible and say no? Or do we go for it,...throw hearts and souls on the line for a dream? Stay tuned....

I'm not done!

Hey, this entry isn't done yet...what about MY potential? At age 38, how much 'potential' do you think I can possess? I wonder, do I still have potential for new and big things, or has my potential been tapped out a long time ago? What is around the corner for me - do I have unexplored talents that I need to discover, or is this all that I am? If this is all that I am, I am not sure I am completely satisfied. I want more...I want to be more.

I want to improve the talents I already possess - I want to ride better, paint better, play better, direct better, teach better, love better, look better.

I also weant to be things that I am not right now - I want to be confident. i want to be completely self-assured. I want to be completely self-sufficient so that no matter what happens I can make it on my own. I want to learn a trade that can make me some serious money. I want to be brave enough to make a big life or career change someday. I want to be a neater, more organized person (yeah, like THAT will happen!). I want to be someone without any regrets.

 No regrets..that goes back to my original dilemma - Corky and her potential. Whatever decision I make, I want to make it with zero regrets...I want it to be the right decision. Time to start thinking...I'll do that after I ride today

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Love is Friendship on fire

This is SO true. Being true friends to each other is the most important thing. Understanding each other, being there for each other during troubles and problems, forgiving the mistakes (even when they happen a lot!), enjoying time spent together, being excited to tell each oher the day's news.

A few more quotes:

• In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
• A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
• Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.
• The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?

Not running on empty anymore!

I ate a huge dinner at Casa LuAl tonight, waited about 90 minutes and then ran 2 1/2 miles. Ugh.

Sometimes you have to be brave and let it out (not your dinner, eeew that's gross - talking about what's in your heart!). It's tough to put yourself on the line and look foolish. Man, I am SO good at making myself look foolish sometimes. It's a special talent of mine.

Today was the last day of school. Teachers have a meeting tomorrow, and then we are officially done. Not really for me...it doesn't even feel like the last day since I am in the midst of a ton of work, and am back with percussion rehearsal on Thursday. I have a feeling deep down inside that this is going to be a weird summer...something odd is in the air. Something big or different is going to happen. This isn't going to be one of my run-of-the-mill summers. That scares me. With the events of late, I am more afraid that the big difference in this summer might be a tragedy. I hope I don't sit at this computer later in the summer typing about a disaster that has just occurred.

Keep thinking positive thoughts. Maybe my big occurance will be a huge win in the show ring, or a new truck, or winning the lottery.

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